As always, this happens when I go to sleep - or try to.
Well...Is just amazing how sometimes u can stop for a moment and start to think some things about your life, then u understand a few things and suddenly, everything makes sense and is impressive how u can sabotage yourself out of fear...of what, I'm still working out, but man...
Like how many times I had the ability of change something about my life, but didn't.
I've always wanted to know why. Always. Like: If I want to be happy, If I complain about how hard it is to create the guts to open up and trust, and be with people, why don't I make something about it?
That's simple:
'Cause I'm not ready and I haven't found that thing that makes me think: this is it, I have to pursuit this...I'm always feeling without wanting it, against my will just because this is how it works, our heart never work with our mind, is always goin' in other direction... I'm always fightin' with myself and this just sucks... Because I know it won't do me any good, is like I know what will happen if I go after what my heart insists in wantin', and is - for sure - not what I want. Seems crazy, but makes perfect sense ^^
God have his way to work on our lives and is kinda funny actually.
And when u finally find out some "whys" in your life, everything gets easier...
So people ask me: how do you manage? and now I just say: I just do... I let destiny surprise me, just like that.
